How Politics Turned Me Into A Hypocrite



Aside from movies and football, I also love politics. Call me boring, that's fine; I think it's pretty fascinating. Plus it's, like, super important. And yes, I'm aware I just typed the word "like" - your judgment is not unwarranted.

Now, if you know me, you know that when I encounter political stances, especially extreme ones, I want to engage. Nowadays, I attempt to make such encounters full of genuine questions and ideas that may inspire earnest reflection and empathetic conversation (though I still fail at this more than I should).

Yet in the past, I consistently tended toward a much more challenging and contrarian role. That was wrong and hypocritical of me. Standing up for our convictions is important, but the ways in which we do so can influence whether or not that stand makes any difference in the world. This is the story of how I began to learn that lesson; I write it as a reminder for myself and, I hope, encouragement for you in this election season.

The other day on Facebook, a "friend," an older woman I knew from my previous church, posted a status which said something along the lines of, "The candidate I will vote for this November will love America, will honor our veterans, will respect the Constitution," and so on and so forth. The post made clear that she thought Mitt Romney would do those things, but not President Obama.

However, that seemed silly to me, - of course Obama is not trying to destroy America - so I commented on her post that I thought she could vote for either candidate with her criteria and asked how they were different.

Her reply in private message was lengthy, but included the following words and phrases referring to our President: deep roots in socialism, Muslim, dangerous, lack of respect for our country, our veterans, & our history, deceptive, arrogant, condescending, rude, inexperienced & over-his-head, a puppet of those who want to put us all in dependence on government, diminishes our freedoms, ignores laws and the Constitution.

Obviously my Facebook friend has some pretty extreme views. Loving to talk politics and disliking her regurgitation of what I thought of as far-right-wing slander, I wrote a two-and-a-half page retort. Like I said, I like to debate.

I tried to stay factual, but the last half-page was used for this:

"You are most certainly free to disagree with his policies, I disagree with many of them, but it is unfair to attack him personally as someone who wants to fundamentally attack the structure of our government. Unsubstantiated name-calling, which I would characterize as dishonest and therefore immoral - even if committed in ignorance - personifies the charged rhetoric which divides our country and prevents our politicians from working together to accomplish anything.

I am strongly considering supporting Romney in November, but my choice will come from the use of logic and the careful comparison of differing ideas. I'm sure I could go on about other factual inaccuracies in your post, but what disturbs me more is how willing people are to make a villain out of someone they don't personally know, how easily people disrespect our Commander and Chief, how flippantly people challenge his profession of faith, and how it seems people who disagree with policies will apparently say anything - even participating in unjustified personal attacks - to have their way. Republicans can have good ideas - that's why I have voted for some of them - but boy do the radicals in the party make the GOP seem angry, ignorant, and self-righteous.

I apologize for going off on a tangent, but as a young person I feel constantly disheartened by how people who I look up to in every other way are so bitter and hateful when it comes to politics. Surely it's not the way Christians should act and surely America deserves better."

What did she say in response? Nothing. I was de-friended. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but I came to feel great shame over it.

I was a hypocrite. I pretty much said, "Name-calling is stupid, and you're stupid for doing it!" I contributed to the very problem I find to be the absolute worst in politics. In telling my Facebook friend to not get personal, I got personal.

I didn't have humility in my response. I didn't look towards what was honorable, or lovely, or commendable. What happened to empathy and grace?

I didn't even notice at first. In fact, I was pretty proud of the rebuttal I had come up with, even sharing it with my family and a number of my friends. I took pride when they said that it really sounded like I knew what I was talking about. It wasn't until days later I began to reconsider my Facebook message and when I did, there was no denying its hypocrisy.

Even though I was trying to communicate that the way we often talk about politics is unhealthy, I used the same negative methods to do so. I was like a campaign ad, talking loudly at her instead of quietly with her.

It's more than a social network etiquette problem - though that is certainly a rampant issue - but is a humility of the heart problem. 

I'm truly sorry. The opportunity to engage someone from a different perspective - and therefore learn more about the issue and my own perspective - was utterly lost. And I lost a friend; a Facebook friend, yes, but the lesson still holds true. This was a person who I had looked up to, a person who I had seen contribute greatly to the community we shared, a person who has lived through many more experiences than I have, and who in many ways is smarter and wiser than I am. But I couldn't get out of my own way to learn from her.

I hope people can understand - even though her opinions were extreme - why my response was equally wrongheaded and why most of us have to try harder to get along.

Maybe if we the people can start to make the ideal discourse - a genuine dialogue that asks respectful questions, is earnestly engaging, and is humble enough to listen - the normative discourse, the politicians will start to take notice. Maybe we can all actually get something done together, finding the balance between passionate conviction and pragmatic compromise, between opinion and empathy. I say again, the manner in which we take a stand for our beliefs determines if it makes any real difference in the world.

So let me quietly and politely remind everyone (foremost that skinny guy I see in the mirror) that people are more important than politics, friends should be treasured more than "winning," and we can never learn the truth until we learn how to engage and listen. That is my challenge to us all.

And if you ever want to talk politics, let's do it! It's fun, I promise, and I'm sure there is a lot we could learn from each other.

Now back to figuring out who to vote for...