All I ever wanted from Battleship was to hear Liam Neeson (Taken) shout “This isn’t a game!” or "You sunk my battleship!" He sadly said neither, but you can see how low my expectations were.
Perhaps it is because I expected literally nothing after reading so many scorching reviews of Battleship, but I walked out of the theater pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed the film for what it was.
Now what Battleship turned out to be is not a great film by any means. There are plot problems – for the first half of the film it is unclear exactly what path the film is taking – and every character is a stereotype.
Perhaps it is because I expected literally nothing after reading so many scorching reviews of Battleship, but I walked out of the theater pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed the film for what it was.
Now what Battleship turned out to be is not a great film by any means. There are plot problems – for the first half of the film it is unclear exactly what path the film is taking – and every character is a stereotype.
But despite not-always-clear direction, the film is fun and audiences are treated to visually stunning action scenes. Every shot is so sleek and smooth it looks like a J.J. (Star Trek) Abrams’ movie, including many more lens flares than are necessary. When things get dirty, the film still seems to shine.
And Battleship never takes itself too seriously (a good thing when remembering your origins are a board-game). Even in a third act surprise cast addition which could have easily been a cheap emotional ploy to patriotism, it maintains the film’s atmosphere of fun without making the patriotism seem silly. Yes, the film’s action scenes look like they could fit in a Transformers movie. But the manner in which the major action scenes are approached is unique in its delivery.
Early on communications and radar are shut down. So how can you do battle with foes you can’t see (like when you put pizza boxes in between your Battleship boards as kids)? The sailors get the idea to pull up a grid of buoys. When a buoy lights up, that indicates it’s underwater, meaning that it must have been pushed under by the alien ships which are jumping around the ocean. Now they know where to point their guns in hopes of a “hit.”
We slowly realize how similar the grid looks to the Battleship game-board and I couldn’t believe how easily the film was able to incorporate its original source material without it coming off as too ridiculous or over-the-top. And again, I really enjoyed the third act battle (but I don’t want to say anymore and ruin the surprise).
And despite character stereotypes, the actors brought in for Battleship, while not the greatest in their craft, give the film their utmost efforts and are just plain likable. Their character arcs may be predictable (rivals become friends, arrogance learns humility, self-doubt discovers self-worth), but most of them are so sincere that even though we know where we’re going, we enjoy the ride anyways.
“There is an earnestness to Battleship that makes it impossible to hate even with its clunky dialogue and plot holes so big you could float the entire Pacific Fleet through them” (Matthew DeKinder).
And while I’m throwing out quotes, “To [director Peter Berg’s] credit, Battleship is a more entertaining film than the Transformers titles, because it has slightly more fully fleshed characters, a better plot and a lot of naval combat strategy” (Roger Ebert).
Now maybe I’m too highly singing the praises of Battleship. Yes, it is largely flashy and lacks much depth. The actors aren’t the best and there are plot holes. But it is certainly more fun than it seems most of the critics out there would have you believe. Worth a $10 ticket? Probably not. But I certainly wouldn’t call it a waste of time. Not quite a hit, but not a miss either.
The Final Word: Wait to rent it.
“There is an earnestness to Battleship that makes it impossible to hate even with its clunky dialogue and plot holes so big you could float the entire Pacific Fleet through them” (Matthew DeKinder).
And while I’m throwing out quotes, “To [director Peter Berg’s] credit, Battleship is a more entertaining film than the Transformers titles, because it has slightly more fully fleshed characters, a better plot and a lot of naval combat strategy” (Roger Ebert).
Now maybe I’m too highly singing the praises of Battleship. Yes, it is largely flashy and lacks much depth. The actors aren’t the best and there are plot holes. But it is certainly more fun than it seems most of the critics out there would have you believe. Worth a $10 ticket? Probably not. But I certainly wouldn’t call it a waste of time. Not quite a hit, but not a miss either.
The Final Word: Wait to rent it.
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